FutureGen and SAM '06 included workshops on reaching single men. One common theme throughout the workshops was that to reach single men, the event, service, or ministry must be designed for men. Another repeated comment was “if the men are there, the women will come.” So what are the implications of these thoughts for Single Adult Ministries?

First, men and women are different in how they approach worship. According to David Murrow in Why Men Hate Going to Church* , even though much of the church's leadership is male, most of the things that happen in church appeal to women rather than men. For example, women are quite comfortable in “sharing” and talking about life. Men, however, may not be as willing to talk about their challenges, especially while sitting in small groups. Women are comfortable touching or holding hands with another person regardless of gender. Men are often uncomfortable with the touching and closeness many women enjoy.

Second, how do the printed promotional materials appear? Are they soft, feminine colors or are they bold, strong ones? For example, a female leader approved a background color for a meeting where the majority of the participants were men. When the men saw it, they saw a different color than she. While she thought it was a neutral color, they saw too much pink. This may be the best reason for having some men preview materials before printing.

Third, who are the up-front people? Is there a balance between men and women? Do they present a good presence? Are the easily heard and understood? Again, there must be a balance. Using all men often sends an inaccurate message to women; while all women may indicate to the men in attendance a lack of male leadership.

Fourth, what words are you using? Men often prefer words that are action related such as build, follow, and walk. Murrow suggests using words that would be used on a construction site. Men are more apt to have a “walk with God” rather than a “relationship with God.” They will respond more positively to a challenge to “build the kingdom of God ” or to “partner with Jesus in changing the world.”

How do we create an environment that appeals to men? It targets some of the following actions:

•  Provides a challenge
•  Allows men to prove their masculinity
•  Uses good leadership
•  Relates to their interests
•  Involves strong, successful men
•  Appeals to their need to be needed

Observe men interacting with men and you'll see lots of slapping, punching, or jabbing. The noise level often increases, too. They express concern, support, and understanding differently than women. Yet there is a deep love of God and willingness to know and serve him.

Perhaps it's time for us to take another look at how we “do ministry” to discover ways to make it more male-friendly. Today's world needs to see men living their faith in the real world as real men. Let's make Single Adult Ministries a safe haven for men to demonstrate their faith in true masculinity.

* Murrow, David. Why Men Hate Going to Church. Nelson Books: Nashville, 2005.

Find out more ways to make your ministry a Church for Men.